If I had to choose one word to describe life after loss, I might choose “conflicted.” It’s probably not the first word that comes to most people’s minds when thinking about loss. But, for me, one of grief’s most profound lessons is that our feelings, thoughts, perspectives, and wants are often at odds.
Considering how complex we human beings are, this shouldn’t be a revelation. But ultimately, our complexity is what drives us to try and simplify things by choosing one emotion, one motivation, one explanation, or one truth. These reductions make the world easier to navigate in many situations, but they can quickly complicate things in life after loss.
Some examples of ways people experience conflicted feelings in grief include:
Conflicted Feelings in Grief: Reconciling the Present with What Might Have Been (whatsyourgrief.com)