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Emotional Storms
July 27, 2021
Sometimes when we are grieving it can feel like we are in the middle of a storm, emotions tossing us to and fro like waves on the ocean. When this happens, it can be difficult to know what to do to just stay afloat.
Here are just a few things that may help to steady you until the storm passes:
• Take some deep breathes – try breathing in through your nose, feeling the breath go right down into your stomach, for a count of 4. Then slowly release the breath through your mouth maybe with a sigh, for a count of 6. Try taking 5 deep breathes and reassessing how you are feeling – you may need to take another 5 or so until you feel a little calmer.
• Stop and acknowledge that what you are feeling is difficult. Then try to focus on what is around you by using your senses. What are five things you can see – maybe look for a particular colour or just mentally describe each object – its shape, colour, size. Then notice four things you can touch – what do they feel like? Soft, hard, textured etc. Then focus on three things you can hear – are they soft or loud or distant or close. Next notice two things you can smell – maybe food or flowers, maybe something pleasant or unpleasant. Finally take in one deep breath and let it go. Maybe go through this sequence again until you notice a shift.
• Dropping anchor – this exercise is about acknowledging your thoughts and feelings, connecting with your body and then refocus to engage in what you are doing. Firstly, acknowledge what is going on inside you, the thoughts and feelings, maybe name them by saying ‘I’m noticing…….(fill in whatever is coming up for you)’. Then slowly start to connect with your physical body – maybe sitting up straight in your chair and pushing your feet into the floor, maybe stretching your arms or neck, or shrugging your shoulders. Then refocus your attention to what is around you – maybe taking in what you see, feel, hear, and smell like in the last exercise. (Adapted from ‘Dropping Anchor’ by Russ Harris).
These are just a few suggestions to try and bear in mind that different things work for different people. It’s a good idea to try each one out before a ‘storm’ hits so that they are more familiar to you when you need them. It is also good to remember that this does not take away the feelings and thoughts but just helps you to hold steady until the storm passes.