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'SPECIAL' DAYS AND GRIEF
September 1, 2021
With the approach of Father’s Day those of us whose fathers are no longer with us can find the celebration difficult or bittersweet as we remember what we’ve lost. Birthdays, anniversaries, and other special days can trigger emotions and responses to our loss, and the lead up to the day can often feel worse than the day itself.
Being prepared and asking yourself what you need at this time can help to give you a sense of some control over the situation.
Planning – ask yourself what you want to do on the day – maybe stay with the traditions and rituals you have always had or change things to reflect your new ‘normal’, maybe making new traditions and rituals.
Tell others your plan – its important to let family and friends know what you need on the day. Be honest about how you are feeling, and if you are planning to attend a gathering it may be good to let the host know that while you will attend on the day you may need to leave early if you things get too much for you.
Looking after yourself – leading up to and during special days its important to care for yourself physically and emotionally. Try to eat well, take some exercise and get enough rest. Do things you enjoy doing – read a book, listen to music, get a massage or meet a friend for coffee. Try not to suppress emotions but do what you need to – have a good cry if you need to. Don’t be afraid to enjoy yourself either, happiness and sadness can co-exist and enjoying yourself is not disrespectful to the memory of your loved one.
Most people find with the support of friends and family and their own resources they are able to find ways to live with their loss. Others may feel the need to speak with a counsellor or other health professional to help navigate their grief. The Southern Highlands Bereavement Care Service can provide understanding and support if you find you are struggling with your grief. We can be contacted on 48 621707; email: [email protected]; or via the website www.shbcs.org.au.
(Adapted from resources produced by the Australian Centre for Grief and Bereavement).