Can we still find gratitude amid grief? It is hard sometimes to see anything but what you have lost and how that is impacting your life. It can feel like the grief is all consuming. Imagine your grief is like your hands held up to your face covering your eyes, making it impossible to see anything else or engage with the world around you, let alone see something positive. Yet finding small things each day can be a step towards caring for yourself in this difficult time. Expressing gratitude has been found to help people deal with adversities, can decrease stress, build emotional awareness, and have positive impacts on mental and physical well-being.

This may seem unrealistic in the face of your grief – so how might you put it into practice? Here are some ways to practice gratitude in the face of loss.

·      Recognise the small things: this may be a kindness that was shown to you by someone in words or actions

·      Be intentional about finding one thing each day: make a note of the smallest things that may have brought a smile, a recognition of a small blessing, a note from a friend, the comfort of a pet, the beauty in the environment …….

·      Write a letter of gratitude: write to your loved one expressing what you loved and appreciated about them, what they taught you, how they changed your life.

·      Allow your grief to be: grief is a part of the human condition and needs to be felt. Lean into it and acknowledge that the pain is a reminder of the love you felt for your lost loved one.

·      Journal: developing a daily practice of journaling what you are thankful for, and your thoughts and feelings can be helpful. This may be a short sentence of what you are grateful for each day or may be an account of each day noting thoughts, feelings, and things that helped you in your grief journey.

·      Take photos: taking a photo can be a pictorial way of capturing what you are grateful for.

Finding gratitude is not about ‘cheering up’ or looking on the bright side, it is about recognising that although your world has changed and things are difficult, there are still things in our lives we can be thankful for. This practice allows us to take time out to focus on something else even for a short while.

Remember that grief is an individual experience, unique to you and your particular loss. Just as your grief is unique so is the way you may approach finding and acknowledging the things you can be grateful for. The above are just suggestions – find what has meaning for you.

Grief can be hard work and sometimes its helpful to talk to someone about the feelings and thoughts that accompany it. You may have a friend or relative you can talk to. For some, talking to someone outside of family and friends may be helpful, such as a counsellor or priest/minister. The Southern Highlands Bereavement Care Service provides bereavement counselling face to face, via zoom or telephone. Call or email to discuss on 48 621701 or [email protected].

(Adapted from joincake.com, livehappy.com & positivepsychology.com)