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GRIEF THAT IS NOT RECOGNISED BY OTHERS - DISENFRANCHISED GRIEF
October 20, 2021
When grief cannot be shared and is not acknowledged or validated by others it can leave the person who is grieving feeling isolated, alone, and unsupported. This is called disenfranchised grief which includes unrecognised relationships such as a casual relationship or ex-partner, LGBTQI partner, stepfamily member or death of someone you never knew, and the death of a pet or companion animal. Stigmatised losses may also be disenfranchised and include bereavement due to drug overdose, suicide, abortion, or miscarriage. Non death loss may also be unacknowledged, for example loss of ability, loss of a limb, loss of independence. Sometimes people may be seen as lacking the capacity to mourn such as children or those with cognitive impairments, serious mental health conditions or developmental disabilities.
Even though others may not acknowledge it, your loss is real and valid because it matters, and the loss is important to you. Don’t let others dictate your right to grieve and feel your emotions.
Some ways that may help:
• Acknowledge your loss – give yourself time to remember and honour the person perhaps using rituals or memorials.
• Grief is individual and personal so try not to think that others may have a ‘greater right’ to grieve than you.
• Allow yourself the space to grieve as you need in your own way and time.
• Take care of yourself by getting enough rest, nutritional food, exercise, and social connection.
• Remember things that have helped you get through difficult situations in the past – how might they help you in your current situation?
• Seek support from people who do understand, maybe friends or family who knew about your relationship.
• Seek professional support if needed from a general practitioner, bereavement counsellor or psychologist.
The Southern Highlands Bereavement Care Service is available to provide support – you can call or email to make an appointment with one of our counsellors on 48621701 or [email protected].
(Adapted from information from Australian Centre for Grief and Bereavement)