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Loss of Spouse or Partner
August 11, 2021
The loss of a spouse or life partner can be one of the most intense experiences we can face. Whether you were together for years or only a short time the impact can be devastating. The time of life of the loss can also influence our grief – maybe we have children to care for now alone, or step-children, or perhaps we have lost our dreams of sharing time with our partner now that children have grown and moved out.
This loss can bring a number of changes including:
• Loss of identity – ‘who am I now without this person?’
• Loss of finances
• Loss of future dreams
• Change of roles and responsibilities in the home
• Increased loneliness and isolation
Our experience of grief is impacted by the relationship we have with the one who died. A partner is often the person who knows us better than others. We may feel like we’ve lost our best friend, soulmate and confidante, or as if we have lost a part of ourselves.
We may now be faced with the pressures of bringing up children alone or navigating changed relationships with adult children or step-children. Relationships with family members may become strained at times or ongoing difficulties within the family may become magnified.
We may need to take on roles unfamiliar to us that our partner was responsible for. Dreams we had for the future may have been shattered now without the one we had planned to share them with. Isolation and loneliness can confront us too, as we find friends and family have returned to their lives and their own families while our main support person is gone. While others may try to provide support, we can feel lonely even while in the presence of others.
It is important to stay connected with others at this time. Having someone you can talk to and be able express your feelings to is helpful. Look after yourself physically – try to eat well, get enough sleep and take some exercise. While the world around you appears to have changed forever there are still things we can find in each day that we can be grateful for – the smile of a child or grandchild, the blossoms of spring, the dog or cat that stays by our side, a beautiful sunset – whatever small morsel you can find in a day is worth noting and pondering and maybe writing down at the end of the day. Sometimes we can feel overwhelmed by the emotions and loneliness and we may need professional support. Seek support if needed. Our counsellors can offer support during this most difficult time.
Call 48 621701 to discuss making an appointment or email us on [email protected].