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Miscarriage and Grief
October 6, 2021
Miscarriages are often unexpected and happen without explanation. About 1 in 5 pregnancies end in miscarriage. The loss of a pregnancy at any stage can impact you, your partner, and your family. Plans that you held for the future with this baby are abruptly ended, and grief may be harder to bear as you have nothing to show for the pregnancy, no memories of your child to grieve and your pregnancy may not have even been evident to friends and acquaintances. It can seem as though your baby never existed which may add to your feelings of loss.
It is normal that you may experience range of emotions such as:
• Sadness
• Irritability
• Anger & Frustration
• Confusion
• Guilt
• Disbelief
• Numbness
You may also experience changes in sleep and appetite at this time.
Partners too will experience their own sense of loss over the dreams and plans they had for this child. Their experience and expression of the loss may be different from the mother’s experience, and they may also be carrying concern for the wellbeing of their partner.
How to help yourself:
• Some may find it helpful to remember this pregnancy by planting a tree, writing a poem or some other ritual. Others may not feel the need to do this. Do what you feel is right for you.
• Take time to grieve the loss – cry if you need to. Talk about your loss.
• Remember that your partner may be grieving differently to you and that this is normal. Talking to each other about what you are feeling can bring awareness and sensitivity.
• Talk to a trusted friend or seek out a support group to talk with others who have had a similar loss.
• Be gentle with yourself.
• Try to spend time with people with whom you feel most comfortable.
Sometimes it is helpful to speak with someone outside of the family. Organisations such as sands.org.au or pinkelephants.org.au can provide support. The Southern Highlands Bereavement Care Service is also available to offer support via Zoom, telephone, or face to face. Call or email to enquire about an appointment on 48621701 or [email protected].
(Adapted from information provided by the National Association for Loss and Grief).