SECONDARY LOSSES

When someone we love dies, the impact is not just in the earth shattering loss of the person, but all the smaller losses that come to light as we grieve. For example: loss of income, loss of faith, loss of dreams, loss of purpose. They are a normal part of grief and may be apparent early in the grief journey or unfold over time. Secondary losses can often be overlooked by those around the grieving person and even the person themselves. This can lead to the losses being disenfranchised and isolate the one grieving as others may view these things as obstacles to be overcome rather than things that need to be grieved.

What can help?

A good starting point is taking the time to write down all the losses that have come as a consequence of the primary loss. This can be a helpful way of realising the impact secondary losses have on grief. Acknowledging these losses and understanding that this is a normal part of grief can bring validation to the experience. Loss is loss however big or small and needs to be acknowledged and grieved.

If you feel you are not able to get the support or understanding you need from those around you, it can be helpful to link in with a support group or seek individual counselling. The Southern Highlands Bereavement Care Service offers counselling to those who are finding grief difficult to navigate. No formal referral is required, you can self-refer by calling 48621701 or via email on [email protected].



(Adapted from posts by whatsyourgrief.com & speakinggreif.org)